Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hugs,Kisses and Rhubarb

We all know that, among other things,  hugs are for greetings and kisses aren't contracts and rhubarb is sour.  However, during the act of contact, puckering or eating, we aren't conscious of these simple, yet profound facts.  Have you ever been hugged so hard it no longer feels like a gesture of comfort?  Have you ever kissed someone when the two of you have very different intentions?  Have you ever hoped when you bit into a rhubarb stalk that it was going to be the season of the sweet rhubarb?  Bet you have.  


All of these simple acts can take many different forms whether it be feelings or pride or cravings.  But, when does it all sync to make for a perfect connection?  I'm sure there have was a time or two when you had a date and that awkward moment came when it was time to say good-bye.  You know the moment.  Its when you are both headed for that "seal the deal" moment and, what seems like slow motion, arms open and mouths relax.  But, only one of you may have a bigger goal upon contact.  As one mouth is relaxing, the other person's mouth is dropped and slighting, squinting open.  Here comes the open arms towards the entrance into your "my space bubble".  You go for the kiss and he goes for the hug.  Awkward!! What happens, usually is that you end up kissing ear cartilage or a shoulder.  Ever so slighting brushing your wagging tongue across his neck as it lands on a wooly sweater.  In a state of minor shock, you hope he didn't notice your wet tongue slurping in seizure across his cheek and ear and hair line.  You act as if its a new way of showing affection without signing a contract.  You convince yourself it shows your interest without actually giving it all up so early on in your relationship.  Its called manners, of course.  You at this point look at him as though he should know its what everyone is doing now....a sign of the times.  


There are those times when a hug lingers a bit too long.  Its that hug you think is only a hug, a short greeting or good-bye.  But, when it lingers, you suddenly feel trapped.  Nothing more awkward than this feeling.  As you are being bear hugged thinking you are about to be released and knowing that you have been hugging for the better part of your life so you have the timing and synchronicity,the hug doesn't stop but you have already released only to be dangling within his hug as it goes on and on and on.  So, like any well mannered huggie, you go back into position as though nothing ever happened.  Again, you convince yourself that he never felt the release and re-hug.  It is never spoke of much like a family secret.  No one ever says: "hey, did you just release the hug prematurely?"  You know the feeling.  So, the next time you are with that person, your head is in the right place, thank god.  Lesson learned, right?  So, every hug thereafter with that particular person, you are prepared.  A little less sincere, nonetheless, prepared. 


You know rhubarb doesn't have a miracle sweet season.  Its always sour.  Yes, it can be more sour as the season progress', but never sweet than you've ever had before.  What do we do about this awkward sour shock?  We sugar it down.  We add sugar, sugar and more sugar to change the sting of that sour bite.  Yet, no matter how  much sugar we add, we still get that sour characteristic of the rhubarb.  First sweet, relaxed tongue  flavorful tenderness, then BAM!! the pinch of sour hitting the entire tongue.  There is no way to change it, but yet we try.  Which brings me to the point of "sugar coating".  I guess this is where the coined phrase came from, maybe?  I would say more than likely. The same goes for people.  Once mean, always mean...once sour, always sour.  A friend told me recently that who you are today becomes more pronounced with age. Which means, of course, if you're sour and bitter now, when you're 80 yrs old, no sugar is going to soften your blow.  Basically, you just become an 80 year old stalk of rhubarb.  No thanks! 


Without sugar coating this:
Hugs are not forever
Kisses aren't contracts
Rhubarb will never be sweet