A Quiet Thing

It seems to me that we forget about what is important this time of year.  Sure we should be spending more time with family and friends and, of course, there is food to prepare and frolic to be had.  But, we also need to take care of ourselves.  Selfish? Why, yes. I thought it would be great to end the year with a few of the ways to indulge a little bit more, laugh a little bit louder and find those quiet moments that seem hidden from our reach.  So, here is my list of what makes for a better life, selfishly. 

1.  Buy more flowers! Okay, you may think I am trying to meet a sales goal or something of the like.  Not true, sort of.  Flowers make you feel better.  This past year, as I taught flower class, I expressed to each and every student that flowers are here to make you smile.  They make you stop for a moment and feel good about your pause.  One or 5 dozen, a flower will truly lift you up and you don't have to wait for someone else to buy them for you.  

2.  Enjoy a monthly massage.  This may seem excessive and overly luxe, but it is a time you can spend feeling pampered without loud noise or sirens, etc.  Its your time.

3.  Cook.  Don't know how? Buy a cookbook and start.  All of your senses are aroused when you cook.  Your fingers holding and touching the food, perhaps squeezing a tomato or kneading a bread dough.  The smells uplift you and tingle in your nose.  The sound of a crisp chop when your knife runs through a vegetable or a fruit. And, the reward of the feast when the oven has exhaled its last warm breathe as you  pull your hard work from its dark cave...whew, that was a bit like soft porn.  Anyway, get in the kitchen, turn off the world, roll up your sleeves and cook.  

4. Enjoy an easy lunch at a cozy hangout by yourself.  Indulge in a daily special or,hell, order a glass of champagne and pluck away at all the appetizers offered on the menu.  Why not, right? 

5.  Exercise!! It makes a person feel so good.  Even if its just a walk. 

6. Spend more time with friends who make you laugh.  Afterall, they say its the best medicine. 

7. Bed linen!! You spend most of your quiet life sleeping or at least in your bedroom.  So find really good linen, spend the extra bucks and make all of those hours sleeping the best time of your life.  There is such euphoria in anticipating bedtime when you know there are soft, luxurious, clean sheets and bedding awaiting your arrival. 

8. On that note of beds: Stay in bed on a Sunday morning, get the NYTimes and a cup of coffee (best when someone else does it for you) and perhaps a warm croissant, whatever.  Truly, truly, truly, this is one of my MOST FAVORITE things to do whether I am traveling or at home.  For some reason, it kicks starts your day like nothing else. Ahhh, bliss

9. Neutralize your life.  Get rid of all the crazy colors.  We are going for harmony and self-peace here so take this for what its worth, but trading in your bright colored walls for a neutral palette will create a space of endless possibilities and calm.  Here are the my favorite neutrals: Chalk white, Dove Grey, Dark Chocolate and Slate.  Note the last color please.  I was once told by a very wise woman that I was to surround my life with Slate, both the color and the stone, because it evoked harmony in my mind and soul, even touching it would create that peace I so long for at times. It is my opinion, that bright colors in your home create loud confusion in your mind and body.  Neutralize your life and I bet you'll feel like a brand new person.

10.  Finally, enough with the preaching, hey!! Here it is, my final word for the year:  Be true to who you are, what you are and what you want to be.  Get rid of the toxic people in your life, take care of those who bring you joy, laugh loudly with those who will listen and believe in those who don't always believe in themselves.  Be your own brand and enjoy the time you have with yourself because at the end of the day, that's all you have, you.  Bump in the road? Fill it up and move on.  My point is this, simply, if  you can't be happy with being with yourself, then you can't be happy for the people who need you most.  When my dad was dying, he asked for only one thing from me and that was that I take time to appreciate the moments that are good in life.  Much like stopping to smell the roses.  I try very hard to abide by my promise to him and to myself.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Be good to yourself, first. 
I'll see you in the New Year,

Mike

Faking It

There are often times, in all of our lives, when he have to fake something.  A smile, a surprise, an orgasm or a job. And, often enough, they are justified as little white lies that mean no harm.  These fakes, if you will, are like points, oddly enough.  We pride ourselves in them like accomplishments or goals.  Therefore, this brings me to the almighty Christmas Tree.  Now, it is much debated on the streets where you live between  Fake? or Real?  Its much like the debate between Rome and Florence. You know the one.  It goes something like "which is your favorite?" and there is always the debate, the good the bad, pros and cons alike.  More often than not it is split between who has the best pizza and pazzaz and the outcome is 50/50.  The same debate occurs at this time of year when people decide on buying a fake tree or a real tree.  Its a funny debate and goes something like; "I like the way a real tree smells" and/or "I like not having to clean dropped needles for 3 weeks at the end of every year off my floor".  Now, admittedly, I am a fake tree advocate.  Here is my argument, which doesn't trend too far off the track of those who are in my corner; I like fake trees because they are mess free, easy to store, worth the cost, can change using different decor every year, come pre-lit and I don't have to haul them outside and wait weeks for garbage trucks to accept them as trash.  When I was young, my parents had a fake, flocked, Christmas tree.  Decked with red lights and a mix and match of ornaments with each of our names scrolled on the bottom of each one, the tree stood proud and perfect in its designated spot throughout the season without a worry.  At the end of the season, it was carefully packed in its original cardboard home and stored in the garage.  Fake trees, or artificial if you are still pretending its better than fake, come in so many different colors, sizes, styles, "breeds" and gadgets, why wouldn't you buy one.  Okay, I know, I know, the smell!!! I understand, but candles or fresh greens can easily fill that void.  And, face it all you fresh cut tree lovers, they loose there smell not long after they absorb the scents in your home which takes about a week.  Imagine pulling out a tree already with lights and placing it where you want knowing it will fit and be merry.  No stress of driving around looking for the best one or waiting for the delivery man to bring and set it up for you.  No more vacuuming daily around the tree's base and no more horror of mustering up the will to de-deck it and drag it out the front door trying unsuccessfully to not leave a pin needled trail behind. 
Our tree sat in its box, in the garage, near the boat year after year counting the days, all 335 of them until it was resurrected inside the house.  However, after many many years of feeling the safety of its box something very tragic happened for which I was blamed, but only because I was a good son.  You see, my dad was a secret smoker after promising my mother he had quit.  He would smoke in the garage in the winter when he should have been running an errand or walking around the house to "make sure everything was okay".  Clearly, he was faking his manly duties in order to sneak a smoke.  Anyway, I, on the otherhand, loved to play with the electric coal starter.  I would plug it in and melt snow or ice into cool scribbles in the ground.  On one very cold evening, I chose to stay in that night, but my dad chose to go out to the garage to "plug in the cars" so they would start in the morning.  It was his smoking time.  The next morning a very large burn hole in the large cardboard box next to the boat signaled a horrific disfigurement of its contents.  A good portion of the fake Christmas tree was black and melted.  Who done it?  Well, I was blamed for playing with the coal starter.  But, I know what really happened, because my dad asked me, well, bribed me to play along.  After that, three quarters of the tree always looked great when it was tucked into a corner of the family room at Christmas.  My point?  Even in its worst state, you don't have to throw away a fake tree. 
My stance remains; I choose Fake Christmas Trees.  And, I also choose Rome!!