Bikram and Beyond

Yesterday started the first day of my 30 consecutive days practicing Bikram Yoga!! Its an exciting endeavor and I look forward to every drop of sweat, every nauseating ache and every mind clearing revelation.  I have been practicing now for over a year and besides an occasional back to back class, I have never taken on this sort of responsibility.   Yes, a responsibility.  I owe it to my body, my mind and my spirit to take better care of all three.  After  not being in the studio for the past 3 months, this first night back was quite a comeback on  all fronts.  First, my body has changed since the holidays of 2010 began.  Being up front at the mirror confirmed how much I love Christmas cookies and stews.  Second, my ability to really stretch has tightened up a bit, well, a lot.  But, I retrieved the memories of when I could do a standing head to knee with my leg straight out in front of me and it gave me hope for the upcoming classes.  Third, and most importantly, I revealed my ability to forgive myself.

Okay, I know this is going to sound as if I may begin preaching about self consciousness, but bear with me.  As I was lying in Savasana (dead man's pose), breathing in and clearing my head, I came to realize an important lesson.  Let me premise this by telling you that I had recently ended a relationship that had a very strong impact on me and I had been going through a process of guilt, sadness, anger and self healing.  So, as I lay breathing and clearing my mind, a song kept running through my mind like a roaring stream after a hard rain.  I couldn't shake it no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on letting it go.  It, in fact, grew louder and each word became more and more pronounced.  It goes like this:

" I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason,
 bringing something we must learn 
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you"


It goes onto say:

"And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend.........
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you 
I have been changed for good"


I know, it's a great lyric isn't it, just not so great when you want to clear your mind instead of think, think and think.  I skipped the next two poses as I felt crippled by my thoughts and song.  Funny how it made such clear sense, however.  As my breathing slowed and my mind's song began to fade and as each drip of sweat, mixed with tears, continued to scrap across my temples and cheeks, I remembered the reason why I find solice in practicing Bikram Yoga.  There are days I forget to breathe as well as fleeting moments I forget to capture.  There are voices purging and I forget to sometimes listen. There are clues I overlook and shoulders I refuse to lie my head upon.  Solice is, for me, Bikram.  90 minutes of just me.  The 105 degrees that I find lovely and cleansing.  Bending, twisting and breathing until things start to make sense.  My body throwing out unneeded feelings and confusing thoughts.  My toxins which pour out of every pore begin a renewal of my spirit. I remember who I am during this time.  I recall what makes me  happy and peaceful and it makes me more aware of the things I am forgetting to pay attention too.

Well, I look forward to my next 29 days and beyond with Bikram.  I encourage everyone to try it at least once.  If nothing else, come into the room and lie down, sweat and think.  You will be surprised, when you let yourself  believe in yourself, the things you can do.

By the way, Happy New Year!!

Mike