A Quiet Thing

It seems to me that we forget about what is important this time of year.  Sure we should be spending more time with family and friends and, of course, there is food to prepare and frolic to be had.  But, we also need to take care of ourselves.  Selfish? Why, yes. I thought it would be great to end the year with a few of the ways to indulge a little bit more, laugh a little bit louder and find those quiet moments that seem hidden from our reach.  So, here is my list of what makes for a better life, selfishly. 

1.  Buy more flowers! Okay, you may think I am trying to meet a sales goal or something of the like.  Not true, sort of.  Flowers make you feel better.  This past year, as I taught flower class, I expressed to each and every student that flowers are here to make you smile.  They make you stop for a moment and feel good about your pause.  One or 5 dozen, a flower will truly lift you up and you don't have to wait for someone else to buy them for you.  

2.  Enjoy a monthly massage.  This may seem excessive and overly luxe, but it is a time you can spend feeling pampered without loud noise or sirens, etc.  Its your time.

3.  Cook.  Don't know how? Buy a cookbook and start.  All of your senses are aroused when you cook.  Your fingers holding and touching the food, perhaps squeezing a tomato or kneading a bread dough.  The smells uplift you and tingle in your nose.  The sound of a crisp chop when your knife runs through a vegetable or a fruit. And, the reward of the feast when the oven has exhaled its last warm breathe as you  pull your hard work from its dark cave...whew, that was a bit like soft porn.  Anyway, get in the kitchen, turn off the world, roll up your sleeves and cook.  

4. Enjoy an easy lunch at a cozy hangout by yourself.  Indulge in a daily special or,hell, order a glass of champagne and pluck away at all the appetizers offered on the menu.  Why not, right? 

5.  Exercise!! It makes a person feel so good.  Even if its just a walk. 

6. Spend more time with friends who make you laugh.  Afterall, they say its the best medicine. 

7. Bed linen!! You spend most of your quiet life sleeping or at least in your bedroom.  So find really good linen, spend the extra bucks and make all of those hours sleeping the best time of your life.  There is such euphoria in anticipating bedtime when you know there are soft, luxurious, clean sheets and bedding awaiting your arrival. 

8. On that note of beds: Stay in bed on a Sunday morning, get the NYTimes and a cup of coffee (best when someone else does it for you) and perhaps a warm croissant, whatever.  Truly, truly, truly, this is one of my MOST FAVORITE things to do whether I am traveling or at home.  For some reason, it kicks starts your day like nothing else. Ahhh, bliss

9. Neutralize your life.  Get rid of all the crazy colors.  We are going for harmony and self-peace here so take this for what its worth, but trading in your bright colored walls for a neutral palette will create a space of endless possibilities and calm.  Here are the my favorite neutrals: Chalk white, Dove Grey, Dark Chocolate and Slate.  Note the last color please.  I was once told by a very wise woman that I was to surround my life with Slate, both the color and the stone, because it evoked harmony in my mind and soul, even touching it would create that peace I so long for at times. It is my opinion, that bright colors in your home create loud confusion in your mind and body.  Neutralize your life and I bet you'll feel like a brand new person.

10.  Finally, enough with the preaching, hey!! Here it is, my final word for the year:  Be true to who you are, what you are and what you want to be.  Get rid of the toxic people in your life, take care of those who bring you joy, laugh loudly with those who will listen and believe in those who don't always believe in themselves.  Be your own brand and enjoy the time you have with yourself because at the end of the day, that's all you have, you.  Bump in the road? Fill it up and move on.  My point is this, simply, if  you can't be happy with being with yourself, then you can't be happy for the people who need you most.  When my dad was dying, he asked for only one thing from me and that was that I take time to appreciate the moments that are good in life.  Much like stopping to smell the roses.  I try very hard to abide by my promise to him and to myself.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Be good to yourself, first. 
I'll see you in the New Year,

Mike

Faking It

There are often times, in all of our lives, when he have to fake something.  A smile, a surprise, an orgasm or a job. And, often enough, they are justified as little white lies that mean no harm.  These fakes, if you will, are like points, oddly enough.  We pride ourselves in them like accomplishments or goals.  Therefore, this brings me to the almighty Christmas Tree.  Now, it is much debated on the streets where you live between  Fake? or Real?  Its much like the debate between Rome and Florence. You know the one.  It goes something like "which is your favorite?" and there is always the debate, the good the bad, pros and cons alike.  More often than not it is split between who has the best pizza and pazzaz and the outcome is 50/50.  The same debate occurs at this time of year when people decide on buying a fake tree or a real tree.  Its a funny debate and goes something like; "I like the way a real tree smells" and/or "I like not having to clean dropped needles for 3 weeks at the end of every year off my floor".  Now, admittedly, I am a fake tree advocate.  Here is my argument, which doesn't trend too far off the track of those who are in my corner; I like fake trees because they are mess free, easy to store, worth the cost, can change using different decor every year, come pre-lit and I don't have to haul them outside and wait weeks for garbage trucks to accept them as trash.  When I was young, my parents had a fake, flocked, Christmas tree.  Decked with red lights and a mix and match of ornaments with each of our names scrolled on the bottom of each one, the tree stood proud and perfect in its designated spot throughout the season without a worry.  At the end of the season, it was carefully packed in its original cardboard home and stored in the garage.  Fake trees, or artificial if you are still pretending its better than fake, come in so many different colors, sizes, styles, "breeds" and gadgets, why wouldn't you buy one.  Okay, I know, I know, the smell!!! I understand, but candles or fresh greens can easily fill that void.  And, face it all you fresh cut tree lovers, they loose there smell not long after they absorb the scents in your home which takes about a week.  Imagine pulling out a tree already with lights and placing it where you want knowing it will fit and be merry.  No stress of driving around looking for the best one or waiting for the delivery man to bring and set it up for you.  No more vacuuming daily around the tree's base and no more horror of mustering up the will to de-deck it and drag it out the front door trying unsuccessfully to not leave a pin needled trail behind. 
Our tree sat in its box, in the garage, near the boat year after year counting the days, all 335 of them until it was resurrected inside the house.  However, after many many years of feeling the safety of its box something very tragic happened for which I was blamed, but only because I was a good son.  You see, my dad was a secret smoker after promising my mother he had quit.  He would smoke in the garage in the winter when he should have been running an errand or walking around the house to "make sure everything was okay".  Clearly, he was faking his manly duties in order to sneak a smoke.  Anyway, I, on the otherhand, loved to play with the electric coal starter.  I would plug it in and melt snow or ice into cool scribbles in the ground.  On one very cold evening, I chose to stay in that night, but my dad chose to go out to the garage to "plug in the cars" so they would start in the morning.  It was his smoking time.  The next morning a very large burn hole in the large cardboard box next to the boat signaled a horrific disfigurement of its contents.  A good portion of the fake Christmas tree was black and melted.  Who done it?  Well, I was blamed for playing with the coal starter.  But, I know what really happened, because my dad asked me, well, bribed me to play along.  After that, three quarters of the tree always looked great when it was tucked into a corner of the family room at Christmas.  My point?  Even in its worst state, you don't have to throw away a fake tree. 
My stance remains; I choose Fake Christmas Trees.  And, I also choose Rome!!

A Simply Outstanding Thanksgiving

I can remember it well.  It was a time when my worldly naivety aroused my curiosity and my local mindset was constantly interrupted by thoughts of "what else" and "what next".   Year after year, as time goes by, my need for celebrating Thanksgiving becomes stronger.  I crave the sense of family and friends surrounding me on one special day when food brings people together and full stomachs relax the soul.  Its a day when we share, laugh, debate and reflect on what it means to be thankful.  In 1989, I set out on an adventure of a lifetime that has forever changed my every Thanksgiving since.  I joined a volunteer group in Minneapolis, packed a single army pack and jumped on an adventure to Tanzania to help those less opportune.  It was my first time out of the country, I had just turned 21 and I wasn't at all prepared for what was about to come.  17 hours later, and surely a day past, we landed in Dar es Salaam to begin our road trip.  Hot, dry, loud, confusing, suspicious; Dar (as the locals call it) was nothing that I had imagined.  After a brief shower at a day hotel, we piled into a rover and headed west into the late afternoon sun.  Arriving, after several engine breakdowns, at a German mission, we gathered with candlelight and dinner and headed to bed.  At day break we arose anxious to head to our next destination.  In fact, I don't remember any of us complaining about the chipped away roads or worried of another tire flattening.  We just wanted to get to our "jobs" as volunteers.  Now, I must remind you, I grew up in a small town.  Traveling through the plains of Tanzania was, well, amazing.  Who knew from Hibbing?  Herds of zebra and springbuck and water buffalo along with elephant crossings and giraffe running at full speed yet still appearing to float all seemed, well, sureal. It was a long journey or, as the locals say, safari.  We touched hands with the Masai, we had our bananas stolen by baboons right out of our hands and truck, we played with children that would appear from nowhere out of the bush.   200 miles and 7 hours later, yes, 7 hours, we arrived in Iringa for a good nights rest.  The next day, we made it to our destination, Pommern, Tanzania.  A big, strong ( I say that loosely) German mission house greeted us with open doors and windows.  Our bathroom or to be more descriptive, our hole was tucked behind three walls of straw across the road with a snake warning for those who dare venture there after sundown.  Our kitchen, um, dirt floored closet was located a few doors down next to the grain and animal room.  Okay, no electricity or running water, unless you count the drips of water that dribbled from the single, village pump and obviously very little if any privacy in and out of the house.  I sometimes thought a villagers hut would have been a nicer accommodation. 

I was there for two weeks.  In that time, I painted a school room, took water samples to the larger town of Iringa for analysis, taught directional tools to the children, toured dispensaries and worked as a day liaison between patient and doctor, visited and read to people suffering into their last days living and dying from AIDS and attended both modern and traditional weddings in neighboring villages. Also, during my time there, Thanksgiving was about to be celebrated back in the USA.  I remember that day in Pommern so clearly as if I am still standing in the roundabout of our house with the giant, purple flowered Jacaranda Tree protecting me from the hot sun.  I remember saying to my colleagues that we should celebrate Thanksgiving, here, our way, with some of the key villagers as guests.  It was a moment I will never forget.  When Molly and I went to tell our other 6 volunteers of the idea, each of us headed to our backpacks and one by one we each pulled out something that was indicative of the holiday.  I had turkey stamped, paper napkins.  Molly had chicken bouillon, one had a jar of chestnuts, another had two jars of gravy.  It was amazing, we all anticipated that we would celebrate Thanksgiving in the mountains of Tanzania.  So, the cooking began and the invitations were announced.  We bought, or maybe just found, two chickens.  We had bread and spices for stuffing and rice on hand as it was our staple.  We had tomatoes for a side dish and peanut butter for dessert.  I was in charge of setting the table as the stuffing was being buried underground to cook and the chickens were being plucked for boiling.  I set out my turkey napkins, candles and lanterns, mismatched plates and silverware and cups for fanta and/or tea and coffee.  I forged for flowers in the bush and came out with bright orange protea that I placed in water cans and canteens.  Dinner was served in the pitch black of night.  So dark, in fact, even with candles aglow on the table, it wasn't easy to see your neighbor across the table.  The village children came into our home and sang us a song and we began our feast.  The night lasted until the sunrise the  next morning.  No one tiring out, no one rushing to get anywhere.  Chewy chicken, pebble strewn rice, mushy stuffing with a grit of ash and sour tomatoes; it was, without hesitation, simply the most outstanding Thanksgiving dinner I have ever had.  I grabbed a cup of hot coffee and wrapped  myself in a blanket to head outside and watch the sun come up over the horizon that morning.  I cried.  I smiled.  I thought to myself how thankful I was. Again, this past Thursday, I remembered my time in Tanzania 21 years ago. As the sun rose over the Chicago skyscrapers in the eastern sky Thanksgiving morning, I, with my coffee in hand and wrapped in a blanket, stepped outside to say thank you.  I cried quietly and I smiled loudly.  

Thanks for Giving: Part Four - Mmmmmemories

The holidays, ahh, what can I say, they evoke so many memories for all of us don't they.  Granted, not all memories are bad, in fact, mine are all pretty good, well, except for the time...... Anyway, memories are created, remembered and often referred to this time of year.   I thought I would tap out some of my memories of Thanksgiving and try to shy from decor, recipes, etc.  We have two more days ahead of us for all that.  Oh, I will say this though, actually I will use only one word: Peony (they are so perfect right now from Chile).  As a kid, I remember many, many Thanksgiving day at my grandparents.  I'm  not sure my mom and dad ever hosted Thanksgiving for the family.  Hmmm, wonder why.  Two different sets of grandparents, yet usually the same menu.  I have learned that people, in general,  love the classics when it comes to Thanksgiving fare.  Fast forward 20 years as I prepared a feast and protested against the expected staples (stuffing, turkey, cranberries) and went out a limb, literally, roasting a leg of lamb sided by brussel sprout slaw, mashed turnips and mandarin orange gratin and a cinnamon semifreddo with hazelnuts.  I was met with protest that late afternoon in November that year.  I knew I screwed up when I enthusiastically asked "Leftovers, anyone?" and got an echo of "No thanks!".  Lesson learned, I guess.  I also remember sitting next to my grandpa as he sneezed, one nose shout after another, every time he finished his dinner.  It wasn't just after Thanksgiving dinner, it was always, but it still makes me laugh.  One of my memories, and I hold no grudge, is my grandmother pouring my milk about 30 minutes before we sat down to eat.  It was hard to politely get through that room temperature glass of milk, but I did it.  I always thought that if I drank it in three amounts, quickly, it would seem cooler, nope.  Oh, and I do remember the time at my friend Kerry's that I spent dinner in the bathroom, sitting in front of the toilet.  I knew I shouldn't have gotten to  her house so early that afternoon and I wasn't thinking when my wine glass seemingly got bigger and bigger.  Live and learn, live and learn.  I remember appetizers of chicken livers and bacon,  I remember centerpieces of mums and one-sided plastic pilgrims on a stick.  I remember perogi and raisin pie (still a favorite of mine).  I remember relatives napping BEFORE dinner, loud laughing from the kitchen, games of "pow gotcha" and long drives home.  I am not a leftover kinda guy, but I remember the best turkey sandwiches with mayo and salt/pepper on crusty bread the day after Thanksgiving.  When I went out on my own and started working retail, I remember keeping a very late work schedule the night before to prep and sign the sale happening on black Friday.  I spent Thanksgiving with fellow retail friends, usually at a bar with a buffet and then barely making it to work at 5am the next day to invite customers into the crazy world of flinging sweaters and smoked salmon samples.  My best Thanksgiving as a young adult was spent at a Chinese restaurant in Mpls that lasted a good 5 hours as friends and strangers kept showing up unexpectedly and our table grew to almost 50 people as we took over the otherwise quiet restaurant.  It was so much fun and felt as if it was what Thanksgiving was all about.  We laughed and ate and drank late into the night.  Forgetting how much we missed our immediate families and just living in the moment.  It was the opportunity to try every item on the menu and to create new memories.  It stands out in my heart as a time when family was what we created rather than what we were born with that night.  So, as I leave you from this blog because I have grocery shopping to do and serving platters to plan out, I hope that you have had memories, mostly good, of Thanksgiving past.  Oh, did I mention the time when I was poaching pears and myself, for that matter, until 3am with Barbra Streisand's Memories cd being played at full throttle and the neighbor came over in his, well, I guess you could call them pajamas, more like "no one will see me tonight" casual attire and asked me to turn the music down, and I quote, "t a fucking notch or twelve".  I fell asleep before the pears were completed and woke up in the same lazy chair I fell asleep in to the tune of "Memories" being whistled loudly by my neighbor as he raked his yard.  And so it goes....

I wish you a great day this year as you sit down with family, friends, loved ones and strangers.  Maybe one year, I'll host a "Dress like a Pilgrim or Indian" feast.  I have had great memories, but, the best ones are yet to come.  For this, I am Thankful.

Thanks for Giving: Part Three - Legs, Thighs and Breasts

I understand tradition and I understand that for many years I have only tried to incorporate it in my modern life.  I will go as far as to say when I go full out modern, my traditions seem to shine through in small details.  In a previous blog, I wrote on how to change things up by ditching the dinner.  But, I am practical and I'm not the king of ruling out the traditional Thanksgiving dinner for all people in the land.  A few years ago, I decided to rule out cooking a giant 25lbs turkey opting for cooking several small breasts, turkey breasts that is.  The year after I focused on thighs and legs, again, I refer to those of the turkey kind.  Success!!!! The legs, thighs and breasts cooked separately from the entire carcass were more flavorful, easier to serve and made packing leftovers a breeze (not to say there was much left over if i do say so myself).   In half the time and half the oven space, you can cook up turkey breasts, legs or thighs or all three and you will be a happy person.  Lets face it; no one really knows how to carve giant roasted bird very well.  The breasts are usually dry and the thighs get mangled by novice carvers.  By cooking the breasts (still on the bone), you will have guests and yourself alike never wanting to roast a full bird again.  Also, carving is a cinch.  Full legs on a guests plate are a bit Renaissance, but kids like to peck on them and they make for happy fodder.  Turkey thighs are the most flavorful, but perhaps the ugliest of the parts.  Try roasting them along with the breasts and then tuck them under the final presentation on the platter.  There are a bunch of great recipes for roasting turkey breasts and I challenge each and everyone of you to give it a try this year.  My favorite recipe is the simplest and I thank Ina Garten for it (google search: "Turkey Breast Ina Garten").  Again, I only try to inspire you to think a bit differently.  But, I will gladly take the honor of being crowned King after you have tried this easy and tasty alternative.   One more thing: White platters look best when presenting meat of any kind.  A relief map, multi colored turkey shaped platter seems to take the WOW out of your sliced turkey as I lies there counting its final moments before its devoured.  No need to wonder why so  many of these colorful platters are on sale at deep discounts right before and immediately following Thanksgiving.  Oh, yes, just one more note or food for thought.   Carve the turkey before it hits the table.  No need to create a carving station on your dining table, after all, you aren't the Old Country Buffet.  Gobble Gobble.

Thanks for Giving: Part Two - Ready, Table Set, Go!!!!

It seems as though the main centerpiece at Thanksgiving isn't the bronzed turkey or the red faced uncle.  The centerpiece in most homes is the table.  Lets face it; we sit around the table which would, in all practicality, be the center which leaves the actual center of the table the bulls eye, right?  Emails and phone calls start flying my way this time of year with hosts and hostess' alike looking for "inspiration" or "resources" for setting their holiday table.  Now, I believe in a really good table set, especially during the holidays.  But, I refuse to allow stress to be involved in any part of it.  I hope to simplify things for you.  Step away from the table, move back slowly and stop staring at it as if the decor may magically appear, sort of like when you keep opening the refrigerator looking for food as though new food will appear every 5 minutes after the door is opened.  Let me share my main ingredients for a table worth talking about and that your guests will enjoy being a part of.

• Pull all the wine glasses, drink glasses, colored glass, etc that you will not be using for the beverage service and place them clustered in the center of your round or oval table or en mass them down the center of your rectangle table.  Then, simply, put votive candles (don't forget a bit of water to make wax removal easy peasy), in  most of them, springs of fresh herbs or foliage in others and viola!! 
• Don't over fold your linen napkins.  A soft fold, bistro-like, will suit the purpose.  In fact, place the napkin under the plate with 4 inches or so flopping over the table's edge.  This stops the table from looking cluttered.  
• Forage for branches and place them down the center of your rectangle table, then using gourds and fruit clustered amongst the branches curves, you will have created a living art de object.
• Place a colored glass votive candle at the 12 o'clock position above the dinner plate of each guest, trust me, they will love the extra light and the warm glow for the best pictures. 
• Find a dollar store or discount retail home store in your neighborhood and stock up on inexpensive wine carafes.  fill partially with red or rose wine and then place long flower blooms in each one, or berried branches from the yard.  Then, cluster or spread down the table, sprinkle with chunky pillar candles and your done. 
• I prefer table clothes over place mats, but, if you have a wood table that cost you a year's salary, definitely pull out the place mats and use them.  That said, make sure the place mats aren't fighting with the china, silverware, centerpiece, etc.  If you're going to use place mats or table clothes, for that matter, use nice ones.  Your guests will touch them, trust me.  
• Having a home filled with family and strangers?  Then its best to set out place cards at the settings.  Look for gold leaf letters to guide your guests to their seats according to the first letter of their first name.  Can be fun if you have more than one Peter, Paul or Mary.  Using colored ink to write on a leaf or gourd is fun too, but a bit domestic goddess, so write their name with edible ink on top of the plate with a nice, yet short, message of welcome.  The ink won't stick as it will washable and edible, but, I wouldn't hurt to test it on the back or side of the plate first. 
•  I find it awkward to have a "head of the table" setting.  If you can spare the space, leave the heads open and sit amongst your guests, its so much more fun. 
• Last, but not least, use one end of the table (space approved) to hold a tall arrangement of berried branches or leafy, color branches.  This sets the room off enough to make for a cozy dinner and adds height where you need it most.  Don't put a full arrangement of different flowers at the end of the table, thats a bit odd, just stick to one variety, en mass of your choice. 

Hope this inspires.  If it doesn't well, I'm only an email click away.  

                                                         photo courtesy of Ina Garten

Thanks for Giving: Part One - Ditch the Dinner

Alright, we have 9 days until Thanksgiving or as I call it, Thanks for Giving.  I am going to attempt to inspire  you to think out of the box without making these next few days a whirlwind of contemporary madness.  I am going to do this in several parts.  Today's notes are simply dubbed: "Part One". Or, the beginning.  Now, as an added note before this all begins,  I have a few simple motto's: 1. Simple is best, overly traditional isn't, 2. "you don't have to be creative to be creative", 3. It's your house, your food, and your table so show off and let your guests thank you for giving, 4. Fresh falls in your backyard and 5. no rules are good rules.



This year, I have decided to skip the traditions of Thanksgiving dinner, or, if you will,  the quintessential  late lunch and start the day out right.  I am ditching the dinner and hosting a Thanksgiving breakfast.  A couple factors went into choosing this logical day starter.  First, I wasn't able to round up enough people to come for dinner because most have other engagements such as family, travel,etc.  Also, I thought it would be great to kick off the day with friends, tired eyes and all.  People are much nicer in the mornings I have found, I guess you could consider this a third reason, but I think it falls into spending time with your friends before they try their patience with drunken family members.  The main reason is, selfishly, I wanted to spend the afternoon being lazy; a movie, a long walk, leftovers from breakfast and napping.  I look forward to my shuffling pace this Thanksgiving afternoon.

Breakfast:
Walnut and Maple Muffins
Chedder Scones
Caramel Croissant Bread Pudding
Turkey Hash
Fried Egg Breakfast Bake
Maple Glazed Bacon
Apple, Pear and Cranberry Salad with Sweet Yogurt Dressing
Sweet Noodle Kugel
Juice
Coffee
Homemade Hot Chocolate

Now, here is the best part.  The Muffins and Scones can be batter ready the night before along with the prepared Noodle Kugel and Breakfast Bake.  These will be snuggly wrapped and ready in the fridge for an easy quick bake.  The rest is a quick chop, a maple painting, a simple fry and mix of sweetness and its ready.  Furthermore, there is no table to set because I believe Breakfast is best served on a buffet/counter top or fresh from the stove top - a help yourself casualness.  Find a place to sit and settle, no fancy table, no formalities and no all at once presentation.  Even better, I don't have to dress up.  Warm slippers on my feet, a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt, perhaps even a cap, and my day begins just they way it should.
I'm starting breakfast early, 9am sharp. And, with any luck, I will be napping by 12pm.

Side Note:  add champagne to the juice or Bailey's to the coffee, hell, shoot some run in the hot chocolate but beware, your guests could possibly be napping with you later in the day, so just know when to put the cap on the booze.  

You Are Welcome!!

Photo courtesy of The Maisy Report

I thought I would blog to all of you a list.  The sort of list that can make your life a little bit better, a little easier and little more fun.  Now, there is homework involved and I am the first to tell you I have never been one to like homework let alone actually do it.  However, these tasks, if you will, only take a few minutes and if you really put yourself into them, it won't feel like work.  Because work can be stressful, why bother with it when you don't have to or want to do it.  These are a few of my favorite things to do to make my life that much better. Alas, I give you some ideas that will work for you, not against you.  Let me premise this with "You Are Welcome"!!!

1. Make homemade Hot Chocolate from scratch (see Tyler Florence's recipe in his book "Tyler's Ultimate")..you will be thanking me and, for that matter, him, but I am a bit more accessible.  I sometimes add a dose of booze to really relax.
Homework: shop for the ingredients, stir the pot and indulge in the decadence.

2. Make homemade Marshmallows (see Barefoot Contessa's recipe in her book "Family Style")..again, you will thank me and its fun, easy and ohhh sooo good.  They aren't better for you, they are just homemade by you,  which in a weird sort of way, makes them feel better to eat and they are great atop the above mentioned hot chocolate
Homework: make a day in advance and impress all your friends.


3. Paint a room a dark color like gray or black, even chocolate.  You may be surprised how it relaxes you and makes your room seem like your own little retreat of cozy.  Don't be afraid of the dark colors (sans primary colors).  Neutrals like gray, black or chocolate can enhance your mind and spirit without confusing your mind with shocking color or the lack thereof (ie: white).
Homework: pick a room to call your own and paint it without objection

4. Forage the neighbors trees of their berried branches.  This is best done in the middle of the night when the world is sleeping.  Bring them home and smash the base of the branch to open it up then place it in hot water housed in a vase of your choosing.  You will have them throughout the season and even dried, they look great.
Homework: well, just read the above again

5.  Clean out your refrigerator.  Ahhh, the way it makes you feel upon completion.  Purge all those open salad dressing bottles and cling wrapped bowls of unrecognizable food.  Toss out everything you haven't used in 3 months or that is taking up space.  Its great to do it now before the holidays hit and you need the space.
Homework: get a damp towel and a big garbage bag and start tossing

6. Stop worrying about collecting and designing with odd numbers.  Who came up with that anyway?  There is something to say about symmetry.  Its easier on the eye when the numbers are even.  A balance happens in your home and your life when there are equal parts decor or table settings.  I like the number one, but why buy three of something when you only need 2.  Remember, balance is good.
Homework: walk your home and take away one thing at a time. 

Those are my top 6.  Surely I have more, but I promised myself, as I sip on my hot chocolate and eat my melting marshmallow in my room painted elephant gray with my two sturdy vases flanking the mantle dancing with berried branches, that I would not go to bed tonight without cleaning out the fridge. 

Again and again; You Are Welcome!!

Yuv and Friendship

Kerrby has been my friend, brother and confidant almost 10 years and he is still going strong.  I will say it and you can't deny it, he is one handsome man.  Now, I write this only to gush over him.  I technically don't own him.  The rest is complicated, yet he is still a very big part of my life.  I see him as often as I can and he changes my life each and every time we are together.  In the coming weeks, I will be with him for almost an entire week and I look forward to it.  Now, let me introduce my language which you will see change after the second paragraph. Kerrby has never been good about pronouncing his "L's" and a few other words may seem almost childlike, but, again, I will do my best to honor his language (pronounced Yangwedge from Kerrby,for instance).  Quickly: Love is pronounced "yuv", Legs is pronouced "yegs", Funny is "furnee", Cage is "cawage" and so on.  And because this is a dedication blog to him, I feel it only right to speak his language (repeat after me: YANGWEDGE)

Come February, I will have known Kerrby for 10 years.  He was born on December 10 and ready for a new home that following February.  We Googled a map to Hickory Hills on a that cold damp day in February in hopes to just see what a little Wheaton puppy was like, well, needless to say, it was like heaven.  In a, um, otherwise clean kitchen with three puppies running around and a mother dog, Wild One Wilma, wandering back and forth looking exhausted and haggled as most moms would taking care of these energetic puppies,she was anything but Wild.  By the way, Kerrby's dad's name is A Bucks A Buck, not that it matters, but it makes me laugh.  In a far corner of the kitchen hid the only boy puppy. As his sisters jumped and barked and nipped, this little boy's gray haired, owl like face just observed us quietly occasionally peeing on the floor.  He was timid, yet not afraid.  He was confident but not the center of attention.  His sisters stole the show and he proudly let them.  After a few pats on the heads of the puppies and a deluge of questions to the breeder, we left empty handed.  The drive away was quiet and I remember saying "what about the little boy in the corner?".   A fast u-turn seconds later led us back to the house and the papers were signed.  We left for a second time only now with a tiny little puppy in tow.  Minutes later he was christened Kerry Lynn Laughlin. Partly because of his Irish heritage and the county of Kerr in Ireland and mostly because of his new dad's middle and last name. I consider Kerrby my brother, just sayin'.  He was perfect!!!  Even after he had massive diarrhea in the back seat of the truck, we instantly fell in "yuv" with him.  (Now I speak in Kerrby dialect) Oh yes, one more thing, I call him "Mister" or as he hears it "Misser", yep "t's" too can be a challenge.   

I seyept with my hawand in his cawage for two nights as he got used to being an ownyee chiwuld.  He grew quickyee and defined his own personawaty in no time at all.  Turning beyonde (blonde) and becoming a handsome Wheaton before our eyes.  Physicyee he became so handsome and strong.  But, what stands out most is his absoyoote sensitivity, compassion and truth. He wears his heart on his furry yittle syeeves.  Yooks at you with the most comforting eyes when things are tough.  Snuggyies you when you need a freind.  Hugs you when you need the truth and tauyerates you when you are either crazy or boring. Misser is a true friend.  Now, he only yistens when he wants; who cares.  He cries non-stop when you yeave him; who wouldn't.  He yuvs his cawage; its his domain.  He cares about others feeyings; we all should.

  I miss my Misser so much when I need his soft touch.  I yuv when Misser goes to his tattooed, punk rock hairdresser and comes home keewan and fresh yet snuffs and puffs because he is mad he had to get a bath.  I yuv that Misser yuvs cheewaz but throws up all other "human" food.  I yuv that Misser can ownyee eat a diet free of grains and chooses rabbit and potatoes as his food staple.   I yuv that Misser ownyee barks when teased or provoked but never at a passer-by, another dog or a knock at the door.  I have never, ever, ever met a young man so generous with his time and compassion in my life. We should all be so generous.  On December 10th, Kerrby is going to be 10 years owad. He has grown even sweeter, yet finicky as he has aged.  He's developed allergies and grunts a bit as he jumps from a bed or sofa.  Hell, I'm only 42 and I too grunt as I get out of bed in the morning. Misser gives me peace of mind when my world is hard to grasp.  He yuvs me sans of conditions.   Kerrby knows I yuv him to the moon and back and he knows that when he needs a yap to cry on, I'm there for  him.

For those of you who have a dog, you know what my every word means.  There is no other love, I mean yuv, like it.  I must now go back to human yanguage language.  So, I dedicate today's blog to my one true, four legged friend and confidant.  Kerrby, you have been the light of my heart, the soul of my drive, the shell of my protection and the joy of my being.  I miss you when I am not with you.  I care for you no matter the day or time.  I thank you for being that quiet, timid puppy in the corner on that February day, that day that changed my life.  I am better because I know you.  I am kinder because you taught me how to be.  I am stronger because you believe in me and I love bigger because you do too.  You have shown me that being better than my best is the right thing.  Your lick calms me.  Your look eases my mind.  You make me feel safe from your sleeping breathe.  For many years to come, you will always be cherished by me.  And when your gone, no other will replace you, you are one a one of a kind best friend.  Thank you.  Love, your brother Mike

The Perfect Subtraction

Once, I mean, Thrice I visited a place about 8 hours away via airplane, train and taxi to an oasis of all things simple, strong and pure.  I am referring to my many visits to one of my favorite lifestyle stores in the world: Wolterinck.  Nestled amongst tall oxidized steel beams with blooming vine or dried leaf depending on your timely visit and a grey gravel parking lot (small enough for 5 Mini Coopers or three large Mercedes) stands an ivory tower of sorts away from the bustling sidewalks of Amsterdam and in a small artist community of Laren.  My first visit left me wide mouthed and gasping, my second visit I brought friends and relished in the "follow me" introductions to the space and the third visit had me sipping champagne and feasting on the seasons freshest food  at a private dinner for us with Mr. Marcel Wolterinck in his Orangerie out the back doors of the store, fire burning in the stone fireplace, symmetrical table settings and room decor and the warmth only a stylized professional could impart.  A great evening of which I will never forget.  But what has always stood out in this space filled with table top, flowers, furniture, cashmere, a marbled working kitchen and his offices, is the atrium which stands proud cut in the center of the space, three floors high.  Its brilliant white, a glass roof, strong lines, completely walkable from all sides and then two giant apple trees puncturing the simplicity and turning the almost airborne branches into crooked swords of 19th century warriors.  These tree branches bloom soft white flowers which seamlessly dance above the three levels of light.  The contrast of the craggy branches against the taut lines of railing, walls and windows effortlessly create a solitary place of peace and growth.  Wolterinck says himself: " A more beautiful and more significant contrast is scarcely imaginable".
So, when it suits you, find this store, stay awhile, look up, down and in-between and you will be harmonized once again with nature and possibility.
Here's is where you can find it:
Wolterinck
Zevenend 33e
1251 RL Laren, N-H
The Netherlands
+33(0)355383909

Stuff It!!

Yep, its that time of year.  Turkeys everywhere will meet their destiny on dining room tables in all there golden, crisp glow as if they were sunbathing for the years prior to their fate.  I'm not willing to understand where the rest of the turkey goes before it hits the trucks destined to a market near you.  The feathers, feet, etc, etc. where does it all go?  So, that brings me to taxidermy.  I am big on it, admittedly, just look at the picture above.   I don't try to hide it nor do I fear PETA lurking around a corner when I buy it, rent it or use it for a prop.  Here's the deal.  Animals are beautiful creatures, well, not all animals.  I'm not keen on the creepy crawly types or the miniature furry ones with long tails that scurry.  Scurry, that alone is a frightening word.  Anything that scurries or slithers is not my kind of beauty.  Whew, okay, back on track.  Where was I, oh yes, using taxidermy.  I remember a party I did at a country club in an pretty conservative suburb.  We put taxidermy pheasants on each table.  They stood stoic, well, frozen really in their place as they stood tall on the table's center.  It wasn't an easy sell, trust me.  It was finding the perfect bird.  It was sample after sample for the taxidermy artists to find the cleanest, realistic, colorful birds.  Once this was achieved, the sell of taking chances happened then, with rebel cause, a yes was uttered from the clients mouth.  In all, the guests loved it.  The client loved it.  I loved it.  It was an unexpected way to make a complete look without overdoing it.  Before then and up until now, I continue to push a taxidermy element onto table's or during a styling gig.  It always remains unexpected.  It gives life to a table in a very still life way.   These creatures are literally frozen in time.  Remember that childhood game "Statues"?  Its like that, only no breathing or blinking or you're out, out in the yard if the animal is still showing signs of life.  Fear not brave people! Its okay to plunk a stuffed duck, chicken, peacock or pheasant onto a table's center.  Pssst: its even better if the table is long rather than round.  Combine the taxidermy with fresh flowers, found objects and your best china and you will create a table scape unlike none other.  And, when  your guests first sigh or shake their heads, watch them make eye contact with the reclaimed  animal which sets before them and soon they will be telling all their friends what a great table it was and they will more than likely set one just like it at their next party.  Furthermore, when that turkey comes to the table on Thanksgiving Day all stuffed with bready mush, you can turn to your neighbor, who was placed their for conversation purposes, and tell them how much better it would have been to see the actual turkey stuffed and fully plumed holding court on the buffet.  And for those who are critics to the design of taxidermy, well, I must say: Stuff IT!!!

Preparation Satisfaction

The Pantry.  A refuge for foodstuffs.  A hideaway for ingredients of creation.  A temporary hibernation of a library of tasteful delights.  I am so lucky to have a walk-in closet for a pantry, okay, REALLY lucky because I have two of them in my kitchen.  One houses food, the other cookware and small appliances.  I am jaded, very jaded, in fact, because whenever I have looked around town for a new abode I can't seem to find a kitchen housing this opportunity for my food storage.  Sure there are over the counter cabinets, which I am not a fan, which simply hide food giving the popular kids front row.  I want to shop in my kitchen and have what I want/need at my fingertips.  Much like a grocery store experience, easy to shop, easy to grab and easy to stimulate my taste buds when I am in a quandary of what to cook or bake.  Its no secret that I am the sucker who walks into the market and is overwhelmed by the "great savings" end caps on the aisles or at the entrance.  Who buys that stuff: ME.  And, without regret.  I hurry home with my bags overstuffed anticipating the contents placement on my pantry shelves.  Sometimes it requires a rearrange to give the food its proper place, but its well worth the puzzle once I get it all to fit.  Now, my pantry is organized.  It may not seem it from the pictures, but it is.  It goes something like this:  Bottom shelves house small serve-ware (appetizer dishes, pot de creme cups, souffle dishes, etc ), Left side middle shelves are about baking goods and Right side middle shelves are cooking goods.  Top shelves get pastas, rice, oatmeal - grains if you will.  The pantry floor gets wine, liquor and paper products.  I have found people in my pantry during dinner parties, mainly to get away for a secret and often times to binge on opened sacks of chocolate chips, candied fruit or the occasional cookie and homemade marshmallow.  I ask myself this question whenever I enter this colorful hideaway; "What would my dream pantry look like?".  Admittedly that changes with my needs at the time, but to sum it up:  I would like it as large as it could be.  With prep tables, a trough sink, wine storage, dinnerware storage and, of course, plenty of stainless shelving for the foodstuffs.  Viola, the perfect pantry.  Prepared for the ultimate in cooking and baking satisfaction. 

At The Table

A table set simply is a table of comfort.  Yep, that's my philosophy.  I've been to the best parties where the table's have consumed me, so much so, it was hard to enjoy the company at my table let alone the food that was served.  I don't live a cluttered life, so when a table set, or design if you will, becomes cluttered, so does my mind.  As a child, I don't remember the table we sat at each Sunday afternoon at my Grandma's house being cluttered. I regress, the clutter was the dishes of food awaiting consumption and satisfaction.  But the table's decor was a simple trio of candles placed as not to interfere with the roasted pork and cream peas.  Also, a fresh pick of flowers from the garden either rested in a shallow crystal bowl or they stood like soldiers in a smattering of bud vases down the tables center.  NOTE: all flowers were real, not the faux, pliable, dusty types.  I have been a big advocate of simple, understated, yet impacting table decor, among other things. The trick really is the details when keeping a setting simple.  For instance, using real flowers and elements, having candles that burn with wick and wax (not the flickering battery options) and a simple cloth when needed.  I have used painters drop clothes (see pic above) to cover a table's top.  Why not, really.  If its good enough for drops of paint, its good enough for a splatter of bbq sauce or a fainting full glass of wine.  I love a branch with all its avenues and detours of its natural growth resting solely down the center of a table warmed by tiny votive candles.  But, I also like a centerpiece constructed of glassware, of the crystal persuasion, en mass down a long table.  I use the glasses as my candle holders and vases. Full, yet simple and a memory as strong as your best rib roast.  Again, and I hate being pushy, but keeping a table's decor simple will create a perfect, memorable and comfortable dinner for family or friends.  Too bad we couldn't turn our tables around once and take off the first thing we see.  After all, Chanel did it when dressing.

 

The Motion In My Mind

My mind doesn't rest after 4am.  Not sure why, it just won't stop igniting its engine.  I think of things like: what to do with all my so called lottery winnings, will the scones at Red Hen Bakery still be hot when I get there,  why does my little toe feel longer on my right foot compared to my left foot, i hope my underwear drawer doesn't present me with that one pair you never wear because it fits bad but you didn't have time to wash a new batch and its only there for days like this; you know, things like that.  This morning my mind was going crazy at approx. 4:25am challenging me to reconsider the furniture arrangement in my living room.  Anyway, as the morning progressed and after my 2nd cup of coffee, the company in my head was considering which flowers to choose for my clients and random orders alike.  As I stumbled over a pile of leafy red sumac branches my eye reached to a display of blooms that one would think only synonymous with Spring.  Hyacinths, tulips, viburnum and peony all stacked up and ready for their cozy waterlogged resting place.  I reluctantly passed on these fast forward blooms and settled for a more seasonal variety of deeper, hardier tones and textures.  The Spring blooms can wait for now, they will have their time.  By 3pm, most afternoons, okay, all afternoons, the motion in my mind stops and settles down for a brief nap.  Really, it stops.  Don't get me wrong. I can still talk, read, drive and dance, but ask me for an idea regarding a lighting fixture or centerpiece, forget it.   I have no regrets and I certainly don't loose sleep over my minds clock.  In fact, I look forward to it waking me up tomorrow morning with its vision for the day.  And, I look forward to its nap as short as it often is.   Oh yeah, how could I forget, my longish pinky toe will be crossed over my, um, ring toe? in hope I won some sort of lottery, in any way, shape or form.

The Way We Are

So much for the way things were, the way they were done or the way it ought to be, I am much more into what can be, what is possible, what is unexpected and what is unfamiliar.  So, I blog to share, to inspire and to open new doors which usually remain locked.

Mike